26 April 2005

B Grade = Stupid.

Today was unfortunately the first day back at term. Time for a few statistics just to make people happy:

10 days to the start of Year 10 Exams.

92 days to the end of term.

243 days to Christmas.

First off was Physics, which was a joke. Mr Birke first got himself into a hole by saying that he expected everyone to get at least an "A" grade in the actual GCSEs and basically said that as we are all so talented at getting into the school we MUST get a least an "A" or else we were stupid. He later changed his mind and blamed it on his OLD age. He's not that old, more upper middle aged. Mr Eric Crook/Mr Crook/Dr Crow (delete as applicable) is OLD. Then we spent the next half an hour mucking around with circuits at the 3v which he said to do it at, only later to admit that on the sheet it said 6v for some of them. Stupid fool.

Then Maths which was as Imbush described, "A very dull lesson." That really sums it up.

Finally English came round, and as I have predicted we were split into four groups and FORCED to plan for a essay to be completed at a later date. Our title was just plain stupid, basically it was to say that the feud between the two families was important. Then after half an hour of planning we had to share plans with other groups, which was odd as why should they care about our plan if they are doing a different essay?!? Then I asked her what the point was if they are not doing the same essay and she just had a blank face and said that it is good revision. YES! Of course how could I be so stupid? Planning for essays which we will never do is good revision! Whatever. And guess what we are doing tomorrow? A timed essay to be peer marked!!! Basically she doesn't want to teach us and cannot be bothered to mark the work which we do!!!

Last thing was Geography which was not that bad. We spent the last bit just chatting and not actually doing anything.

So on the first day back we didn't really do anything. Oh well...

25 April 2005

We Are The Sultans Of Swing.

Nooooooooooooo!!! Today is the last day of the holiday! Noooooooooooooo!!! I know, back to school, waiting outside Rm 42 for hours on end waiting for Mr Ham/Dr Ham/Captin Ham/Stephen Ham/Michael Ham/Captain Faroway (delete as applicable) to turn up with the register, long queues at lunch, too much homework, stupid English essays with no point, pointless tests, stupid teacher quotes and the Year 10 exams start in 11 days (well it is if you do Art).

I also did some more Art, finished the Chemistry and endeavoured to complete the horrible Maths Stats GCSE Mock with questions like:

"A coin is selected at random from the green bag and placed in the yellow bag. A second coin is then selected at random from the yellow bag and placed in the green bag. A third coin is then selected at random from the green bag and placed in the yellow bag."

I actually sat at my desk for five minutes trying to think why you would actually do this in real life?!? Who is actually sad enough to sit there count coins, place them in two bags, then remove one from one bag, put it in the other, take one out from the second bag.... WHY?!? And also why are there those ironic questions in tests which ask you about tests and having to work out if so and so is better at French that Physics...

24 April 2005

The Sixteenth Day Of The Shed.

Today was again normal. Homework (this time Art, oooh, I know, fun....) then time for some more shedding. Doing more cutting and chiseling, then drilling, counter sinking and screwing. We now have something which resembles a work bench. Today a work bench, tomorrow a city! Well, we can all dream...

23 April 2005

World War Three.

Today was pretty normal, as normal days go. Did some homework and some "shedding". Now I am trying to do the Chemistry writeup for some odd titration thing. I really don't want to do it, but I don't really have much choice. Ah well. Better get on with it.

Doctor Who was only slightly better than this dam Chemistry write up. World War Three started, and then ended with some kid firing a nuke into London. If there really were that easy to fire then surely we would all have been dead by now? And, surely everyone in London would be dead as nukes normally kill/harm/mame (delete as applicable) people within about 10 miles. AND, those aliens! Could they possibly looked more stupid? If I saw one of them coming near me I would just laugh...

22 April 2005

We Bought Brown Paint, Argh, It's Green!

Today was pretty normal, eat, sleep, drink, homework (though maybe not in that order). However the long awaited return of the NEW (though not so NEW) shed has finally come. After roughly a week of new action in the shed department the front to the roof was cut, screwed, removed and then painted (I know, could it possibly get any more exciting?). However there was a small problem with the painting (or as it said earlier "painted") part of that list. On the tin it says "Golden Brown", which presents a few problems. Firstly is it gold, brown, of some sort of dangerous mixture, which in the wrong hands could cause mayhem and destruction beyond all imaginable possibility. Unfortunately, it was neither. It turned out to be some sort of dark green!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! However (which incidently has been used three (yes THREE!!!) times already, in this entry) the green paint came from the brush. Lo and behold, we are all saved...

21 April 2005

Their Name Liveth For Evermore.

Today I went to France/Belgium!!! I had to wake up at 4.30am and trudged down to Folkstone (well not really trudge, more sit in a car) then we got onto the shuttle to France. Then about half an hour later we were driving to Brussels, and I had my laptop out with my NEW GPS device thing and was able to track where the car was all day which was cool/fun/boring/annoying (delete as applicable), by the way I was actually watching a film, so it wasn't that bad.

The we got to Brussels, which I must say ranks quite highly in my "Most Boring Cities In The World" table. There is actually nothing worth visiting/doing in Brussels. It is full of formal dressed businessmen who run around pretending to rule the European Union. No really, it is full of men dressed in suits running about talking about some stupid new rules. The only good part of the city is actually going about it, there are loads of tunnels which go up and down, then up and down (really that is the most interesting bit). However this caused havoc with the GPS on my laptop, it got really confused and ended up saying that I had stopped in some church. Very odd.

After this we drove to Ypres so that I could take some pictures of the War Graves to use in my upcoming Art Exam. I must say that it was particularly eerie being in one of them. It was in the middle of nowhere and was too quiet, and there was thousands of grave stones, and that was just one of many hundred cemeteries!!!

We then made of way back to Calais, then home. All in a days work I say...

20 April 2005

The Mona Lisa Of The Comic Book World.

Today was pretty normal. Did some Art homework, well some exam prep work for the 10 hour (yes 10 HOURS LONG!!!) exam. Well that should be fun/tiring/boring/long (delete as applicable). Now I MIGHT go and do some Chemistry homework (though that it a MIGHT).

Hustle was good last night, though it was basically a repeat like thing of last weeks episode. Not conning a conman this time, but conning a bent policewoman. Still, she deserved it. I wonder if next week it will be conning a conman who conned the person conning.

Interestingly (or maybe not) Ratzinger translated from German to English literally means "Singer of advice". Lets hope he can sing well then.

Also in the Express today there was an interesting website to help people to decide who to vote for in the upcoming elections on the 5/5/05 (yes it's one of those odd dates). So people should visit the site and then leave a comment here saying who they think you should vote for. They say that I should vote Lib Dem. Fat chance...


19 April 2005

Habemus Papam!

Today was much the same as previous days. More work on the drama set, however I cannot reveal what I have actually done as other people will probably copy it or "steal" ideas from it. So, no more pictures until the closing date, which is MONDAY 16TH MAY!!! In response to recent comments the set is 30" x 18" x 20" (wide, deep, high) which is pretty big, about the size of Old Trafford in old money, and there are about six screws to each joint, eight joints, you work out the rest.

Then after that, WHITE SMOKE, BELLS RINGING and HABEMUS PAPUM!!! We have a new Pope!!! It may be a German Cardinal and he did shoot down (or attempt to shoot down) RAF planes during WWII, but we have a new Pope!!!

It's Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (a name to die for surely?) who will adopt the name Pope Benedict XVI (not as good as Ratzinger). I was rather hoping it would go on for two years, rather than two days, cos then they would take the roof of the chapel like they have done before and that would be funny/odd. Well, we all can't have our own way...

18 April 2005

Excommunication During WWII.

Today was rather more "hands on" and "active" than usual. I spent most of it cutting the NEW MDF and PINE, drilling into the NEW MDF and PINE, countersinking the NEW MDF and PINE, screwing together the NEW MDF and PINE, and after about 6 hours hard graft I had something which resembled a stage. However I don't hold much hope of it staying together because I ran out of screws (I didn't think I'd need more than 50!!!). But anyway it is finished, although I now need to make a forest out of trees and a stable/barn/wooden building.

Today is the beginning of voting for a NEW POPE! (There seems to be a bit of a NEW theme today!) The 115 Cardinals are now voting for a new pope in the Sistine Chapel and lets hope that its gonna be British! Interestingly if one of the Cardinals has a mobile phone on them they can get excommunicated (which sounds like something which went on in concentration camps during WWII, although I am reliably imformed that it means being chucked out of the church). Theoretically any male Catholic can be elected Pope, so there's hope for me yet. Although I'm not holding my breath...

17 April 2005

The Imperial War Museum.

Today I went to the Imperial War Museum in London, which took ages because some stupid fool decided to hold a marathon. I know, how stupid of them! But eventually I got there and it was sort of worth the wait. The main gallery was quite impressive, with planes, missiles, tanks and guns hanging from the roof. The other galleries were positively rubbish with barely anything in them. I spent a while looking around it and then went to the LG floor (which I can only guess stands for Lower Ground, though I can't be sure as it was such an odd place).

Then I went to the "Blitz Experience" which was to be honest, crap. The only exciting bit was the queuing as some fool asked his mother, "Do we have to queue for this thing?" despite the obvious fact that there was a queue of more than 20 people coming from the door which he wanted to go in. His just as stupid mother replied, "I think so." I really wanted to shout out, "No there is no queue. We just really enjoy standing in a line outside, when we could all just go inside!" but unfortunately I didn't. It was just a walk through a rubbish mock up of 1940's Britain with some rubble. At the beginning the chair shook to simulate and exploding bomb, though it was so rubbish I think my phone could have done a better job on vibrate.

Next was lunch, which again was CRAP. I mean who actually would eat/drink apple soup with mint (yes that was APPLE soup with MINT)!?!? And it was ludicrously overpriced, four sandwiches costing £17 (yes £17!!!!). I can only hope that that restaurant goes bust or burns to the ground!

Finally as we were leaving the building some dodgy alarm rang out. Then a security guard nearby said, "Shit. Not again," and hastily opened the doors, only to be followed by an announcement, "Please will everyone move quickly to the entrance and wait outside the museum." Yes the fire bell had rung, and I bet it was that fool from earlier who went, "Mum what does this red box do, that says fire?" and she probably said, "I dunno, press it and see." So we went back to the car and drove past the entrance, ten minutes after the alarm had first rung and still no fire engines and people waiting outside. If the museum was actually on fire surely it would have burnt down completely and they would be too late. Oh well...

N.B. Unfortunately due to recent comments and consultations with my legal staff I have had to regretfully accept a 12A rating for "The Space". Please note that if you are under the age of twelve years old you must have your parent's/guardian's consent to read "The Space". I thank you for your cooperation.

16 April 2005

Aliens Of London.

Today was a bit more interesting than the last few days. Firstly was a trip to the dump to throw away wood and some weeds (well quite a lot of weeds) and I ended up covered in mud, soil and weeds. Then some odd man in one of those reflective yellow things said that I should and use the staff toilets to get the mud off. So I trotted off to find the elusive bogs which resembled a green Tardis (except it was a bog, was not a time machine and had TOILET written on the outside in BIG letters).

Then it was off to B&Q to get wood and screws for the SHED and DRAMA SET (yes the SHED and DRAMA SET make a reappearance!!!). So the rest of the afternoon was spent making a work table for the NEW shed, which took ages and is still not finished.

Finally I comment on Doctor Who, which was odd/good/weird/dodgy (delete as applicable). The dodgy alien ship which landed looked rather rubbish and NOT real at all. The aliens and that stupid pig thing looked odd and dodgy. The overall story was good and odd. And something was weird but I can't quite remember...

15 April 2005

A Mole Digging In A Hole.

Again nothing extra special happened. Did somemore of the Geo sheet. Does anyone know what I can put in the "Why is your investigation important?" box? I might just put because it will give me 25% of my GCSE Geography marks, although I'm not sure its meant like that.

Also Elevation has overtaken Beautiful Day as my favourite U2 song!!! Amazing you say with a hint of sarcasm? I know...

14 April 2005

Where Can I Get An 8" Tree?

Again nothing really exciting happened. I did spend £10 on trees, bushes and grass like stuff (I only ended up with about 4 trees!!!). I never realised how hard it was to get tall model trees, most of them were about 1 - 2" high. I needed 8 - 10" high trees, which cost quite a lot for each. Ah well I'm bored so I might go and watch some tv. Good bye...

13 April 2005

The Con Is On.

Nothing really exciting or interesting today. Did some Tech and Geo homework, THOUGHT about doing some Art homework but didn't actually do any. Ah well I have about 10 days of holiday left (so loads of time still to do it!!!).

Last nights Hustle was good. Conning a conman is always rather funny even if he did look about 12 years old. Also the Mgabe name is oddly similar to Robert Mugabe, who also tortures prisoners (well someone had to point the similarity out). Who in their right mind would pay £500,000 for a $1000 note? There are some odd people out there.

The Apprentice with SIR Alan Sugar was rather good too. Even if I have a rather strong dislike of Tottenham I felt sorry for their fans for being pestered into loosing half their mobile credit for some pesky updates...

12 April 2005

Chislation: Fast Chisling While Listening To The Radio.

Today I got up, marched to the NEW shed, took out the wood, MDF, saw, vice, bench hook, chisel, wooden mallot, tape measure and pencil, then spent the next hour marking out the different pieces of wood. Then spent the next hour sawing and sanding the wood. Then the next two hours chiseling away until there was nothing left (well almost, I did leave some wood behind or else that would just be stupid). Then I spent the next hour screwing stuff together, and lo behold I had some sort of frame. But some of the wood is cracked, so its off to B&Q again soon to get more wood, but it does look quite impressive. Roll on Monday 16th May (day to hand the sets in) I shout from the top of the shed...

11 April 2005


Today I went to Colchester to get sedated! Well that was the good bit, then I had three teeth forcefully removed by a German who drove an Audi. Then I spent the rest of the morning trying to walk again and only now can I feel my mouth.

Oh, and I painted the floor of the shed dark green (well thats what it said on the tin, it looks more brown than green)...

10 April 2005

The Second Day Of The Shed.

Today the shed was finished! (well pretty much)

I also started work on the drama set, which is 30" x 20" x 18". I got the wood from B&Q and will start making it soon...

09 April 2005

Shedding : The Art Of Making A Shed.

Today I made a shed! (well only half of it, at the mo its missing a roof...)

08 April 2005

The Day of the Advance Wars.

Odd RE lesson with advance wars and Hinduism questions.

Chris R won the raffle for the date with a sixth form girl, and after a lot of persuading, threatening, fists and chairs he finally led us and the chair to the sixth form centre.

Last day of term! Poulton finally leaving, although it turns out that she was not really sacked, oh...

07 April 2005

The Space Is Launched. Welcome!

Welcome all you fine people to my NEW blog! This is set to be beutiful!

Emergency exit is on the top right of the screen (a little door with a cross in it)!

Todays events:
  • Poulton door/board incident in Tech Block.
  • 40 page Maths coursework in (yes actually 40 pages!!!).
  • Chased Chris R around the hall while weilding a sworn off shotgun (well not really a sworn off, or a shotgun but it sounds good).
  • Odd play on Nazis and Hitler called "Fear and Misery in the Third Reich" it certainly put a new meaning to misery (and boredom). I never though i'd see the day when people in Nazi uniforms paraded around the hall.

Well life is odd...