17 April 2005

The Imperial War Museum.

Today I went to the Imperial War Museum in London, which took ages because some stupid fool decided to hold a marathon. I know, how stupid of them! But eventually I got there and it was sort of worth the wait. The main gallery was quite impressive, with planes, missiles, tanks and guns hanging from the roof. The other galleries were positively rubbish with barely anything in them. I spent a while looking around it and then went to the LG floor (which I can only guess stands for Lower Ground, though I can't be sure as it was such an odd place).

Then I went to the "Blitz Experience" which was to be honest, crap. The only exciting bit was the queuing as some fool asked his mother, "Do we have to queue for this thing?" despite the obvious fact that there was a queue of more than 20 people coming from the door which he wanted to go in. His just as stupid mother replied, "I think so." I really wanted to shout out, "No there is no queue. We just really enjoy standing in a line outside, when we could all just go inside!" but unfortunately I didn't. It was just a walk through a rubbish mock up of 1940's Britain with some rubble. At the beginning the chair shook to simulate and exploding bomb, though it was so rubbish I think my phone could have done a better job on vibrate.

Next was lunch, which again was CRAP. I mean who actually would eat/drink apple soup with mint (yes that was APPLE soup with MINT)!?!? And it was ludicrously overpriced, four sandwiches costing £17 (yes £17!!!!). I can only hope that that restaurant goes bust or burns to the ground!

Finally as we were leaving the building some dodgy alarm rang out. Then a security guard nearby said, "Shit. Not again," and hastily opened the doors, only to be followed by an announcement, "Please will everyone move quickly to the entrance and wait outside the museum." Yes the fire bell had rung, and I bet it was that fool from earlier who went, "Mum what does this red box do, that says fire?" and she probably said, "I dunno, press it and see." So we went back to the car and drove past the entrance, ten minutes after the alarm had first rung and still no fire engines and people waiting outside. If the museum was actually on fire surely it would have burnt down completely and they would be too late. Oh well...

N.B. Unfortunately due to recent comments and consultations with my legal staff I have had to regretfully accept a 12A rating for "The Space". Please note that if you are under the age of twelve years old you must have your parent's/guardian's consent to read "The Space". I thank you for your cooperation.


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